“Pablo!” squealed Chav Di Angelo as she skipped towards him. Chav took the concept of air-kissing to new heights but it was obvious to all who surveyed this scene that she was genuinely delighted to see him. “Chav Di Angelo, an exquisite vision as ever” said Pablo smoothly as he looked her up and down, taking in her perfectly coiffed mane and nails buffed and polished to within an inch of their lives. Wanj Di Angelo rose from his seat and offered his hand to the new arrival. “Wanj Di Angelo. Pleasure to meet you…er…” Wanj paused for a moment, expecting the new addition to the group to offer his name, but nothing was forthcoming. “Pablo” purred Jobs. “Pab. Lo. Di An. Gel. O” said Jobs as she rudely cut in front of Wanj. She raised her hand and Pablo dutifully took it and kissed it. “Jobs. What brings you here?” asked Pablo. “The same as everyone else I presume, although as yet none of us are any the wiser” she replied. Christoph Di Angelo eyed Pablo suspiciously. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand it was another young buck stealing his limelight with the ladies. “Paula?! What the fuck sort of name is Paula for a man?!” barked Poppy Di Angelo, mockingly. “Oh Pops! It’s Pablo!” said Chav excitedly. “And don’t be so mean! If it wasn’t for Pablo, Chav’s Nail Bars wouldn’t be the business phenomenon of the modern age that they are! It was Pablo who financed the whole operation! He owns finance for God’s sake!” Chav and Jobs roared with laughter, although it struck everyone else that this wasn’t particularly funny. Pablo laughed nervously but just as Wanj Di Angelo had noted before him, it was also clear to Dr Eduardo that all may not be as it seemed with Pablo. It took one to know one after all. Eduardo recognised in Pablo the same pained expression he himself had worn in the days after his patient indiscretion had been revealed to the world. Pablo Di Angelo did a good job of hiding any angst he was harbouring though, as he glided towards the tray of champagne-filled glasses and casually helped himself. Pablo was beginning to feel a little edgy with all eyes being turned on him since his arrival but his concern was soon rendered unnecessary by the entrance of another guest. Dee Dee Di Angelo stumbled into the courtyard, clearly unprepared for the sight of eight faces all looking in her direction. She had tripped a little on the step and her entrance had been anything but gracious. She adjusted her enormous sun hat that had become displaced. “Good God” mumbled Poppy Di Angelo. “That headgear’s so big it can probably be fucking seen from fucking space!”
“Is it absolutely necessary for you to swear this much?” enquired Dr Eduardo Di Angelo. He was growing increasingly irritated with Poppy Di Angelo’s brash attitude. “Well excuse me, Dr Ass-poke or whoever the hell you are. Allow me to re-phrase: what the fiddle-fucking-sticks is that thing on her head?”. The others shuffled around and started to mumble nervous hellos, conscious that the new arrival could very probably hear she was at the business end of one of Poppy Di Angelo’s vicious rants. Just as Gary Di Angelo was tipping his hat and introducing himself to Dee Dee, Christoph Di Angelo pushed through the others and proclaimed “Well, I can’t believe my eyes! Dee Dee? Is it really you?! It is! It’s only Dee Dee Di Angelo everybody!” What had initially appeared to be affectionate recognition seemed more like mockery now. “Here I am,” Christoph continued, “sipping champagne in this exquisite location with these exquisite people” Christoph shot a glance at Chav Di Angelo and she giggled coyly. “And who should turn up but my old nanny Dee Dee Di Angelo!” “Your nanny?” enquired Jobs, conscious that they were clearly of similar age. Ever the lawyer, her naturally enquiring mind was always one step ahead of everyone else. “Yes my nanny! Poor old Dee Dee! Have the family sent you to check up on me?!” he said, laughing. “Oh get a grip Christoph” said Dee Dee. “I was never your nanny as well you know. And I haven’t seen your family since 1998. I’ve been in Japan since then and I’m very important and successful there”. “Well good for you!” said Wanj Di Angelo, trying to lighten the mood. “And what is it you do in Japan Dee Dee?” “I’m a music artiste. I had the biggest selling single of all time over there. It was number one for 147 weeks” “Well I never!” said Wanj. “I’ve spent some time in Japan. Would I have heard of the song?” Dee Dee Di Angelo looked suddenly sheepish. “I…I er, doubt it, I mean…” “It was a song used in an advert over there” interrupted Christoph, barely able to contain his amusement. “It was an advert for Chicken Wanj, the nutritious and delicious food product that's superceded turkey as the Christmas meal of choice.” “Ah yes! I think I know the one!” said Wanj. Clearly this was a food product close to his heart given the name connection. “Well it may have been used in an advert Christoph but it captured the heart of an entire nation! I am adored over there! On the day of my wedding, 4 million people lined the streets of Tokyo to wish me well. I have my own small person tribute act for God’s sake! Diddy Dee Dee! Plus my husband Ming Do Do is the most successful business man in Japan!”
“You’re married to Ming Do Do?” asked Pablo. “I know him very well! Why, I’ve conducted business with him on many occasions! Finance is very big in Japan you know.”
Although still furious with Christoph, Dee Dee managed to raise a smile for the suave Pablo. She was pleased at the prospect of an ally in this group. Not knowing why she had been asked to this place, and then finding Christoph here had left her feeling distinctly uneasy.
“Let me get this straight” interrupted Poppy Di Angelo. “You’re name is Dee Dee Do Do now?!”. Poppy could barely conceal the hysteria.
“Well no. Actually I double barreled it when I married Ming…” said Dee Dee, preparing for the inevitable.
“You are actually telling me your name is Dee Do Do Di Angelo? And better yet, your tribute act is Diddy Dee Dee Do Do Di Angelo?! This is fucking priceless! My God, I thought your hat was funny but this takes the fucking biscuit!”
Dee Dee stared at the floor, unwilling to respond further. This feeling was all too familiar. “Just remember you have Japan” she thought to herself. “You will always have Japan.” Spending her formative years with the Darlo Di Angelos had exposed Dee Dee to years of torment, and usually care of Christoph. Having run away from her own home at the age of 10, Christoph’s grandfather had found Dee Dee taking shelter in the lavish peacock enclosure on the Di Angelo estate. The kindly old man had taken pity on the poor stray and, after some negotiations with her parents, had agreed to adopt her into the family. Christoph had never made any attempt to welcome Dee Dee or make her feel at home, preferring instead to refer to her as ‘the nanny’. Deciding she could take no more, she fled to Japan aged 18 and had never looked back.
"Well, I think we should all have some more champagne" said Gary Di Angelo in an attempt to take the focus away from Dee Dee who had clearly had enough. The group agreed and moved to the sumptuous seating area. Dee Dee ensured she sat well away from Christoph, who in turn had ensured he was sitting as close as possible to Chav Di Angelo. They all made small talk, and speculated as to why they were there. Whilst there were clearly connections between some members of the group there was no obvious reason as to why they should have all been summoned and they were no closer to guessing who had instigated it.
After some time and a lot of champagne, the group became aware of the sound of a whirring motor in the distance. Music was playing loudly on a stereo and as it grew nearer, it became apparent that it was 'Erotica' by Madonna booming out. Bingo the Saluki began to bark. "He's quite the fan of Madonna" said Wanj Di Angelo trying to calm the dog down. Pablo Di Angelo went to investigate who or what was making it's way towards them. He was surprised at what he saw. A bright pink golf buggy with shining alloys was swerving all over the place but heading in the general direction of the property. Whoever was driving it was clearly no great respecter of herbacious borders which were left crushed in its Barbie-esque wake. The buggy screeched to a halt and Pablo was amazed that it didn't flip over, such was the erratic nature of the driver. Pablo was further amazed at the sight of the exquisite long-limbed beauty who emerged from it. The sun shimmered on her gold lamé catsuit and she walked with incredible ease on impossibly high heels, her look completed with a pair of sunglasses with lenses the size of dinner plates. Pablo rushed to assist her with luggage. "Why thank you" she said as Pablo pulled an enormous suitcase out of the buggy. "The pleasure is all mine" he replied. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?". The woman looked immediately disgruntled, as if she should require no introduction. "I am Whirlwind" she announced as she took off her huge sunglasses. Pablo immediately felt foolish. The second her glasses were raised he knew exactly who she was. Whirlwind was without doubt the most successful supermodel of all time. As the face of Chav's Place nail bars, she had more global exposure than Ronald McDonald and significantly better dress sense. Pablo stood open mouthed and looked on admiringly as Whirlwind casually flung a mink coat over her shoulder and slinked towards the front door, her hips swinging side to side. Pablo couldn't help but think a mink coat might be a little unnecessary in this weather but Whirlwind was never one to let a small matter like 80 degree heat get in the way of exquisite style.
“Is it absolutely necessary for you to swear this much?” enquired Dr Eduardo Di Angelo. He was growing increasingly irritated with Poppy Di Angelo’s brash attitude. “Well excuse me, Dr Ass-poke or whoever the hell you are. Allow me to re-phrase: what the fiddle-fucking-sticks is that thing on her head?”. The others shuffled around and started to mumble nervous hellos, conscious that the new arrival could very probably hear she was at the business end of one of Poppy Di Angelo’s vicious rants. Just as Gary Di Angelo was tipping his hat and introducing himself to Dee Dee, Christoph Di Angelo pushed through the others and proclaimed “Well, I can’t believe my eyes! Dee Dee? Is it really you?! It is! It’s only Dee Dee Di Angelo everybody!” What had initially appeared to be affectionate recognition seemed more like mockery now. “Here I am,” Christoph continued, “sipping champagne in this exquisite location with these exquisite people” Christoph shot a glance at Chav Di Angelo and she giggled coyly. “And who should turn up but my old nanny Dee Dee Di Angelo!” “Your nanny?” enquired Jobs, conscious that they were clearly of similar age. Ever the lawyer, her naturally enquiring mind was always one step ahead of everyone else. “Yes my nanny! Poor old Dee Dee! Have the family sent you to check up on me?!” he said, laughing. “Oh get a grip Christoph” said Dee Dee. “I was never your nanny as well you know. And I haven’t seen your family since 1998. I’ve been in Japan since then and I’m very important and successful there”. “Well good for you!” said Wanj Di Angelo, trying to lighten the mood. “And what is it you do in Japan Dee Dee?” “I’m a music artiste. I had the biggest selling single of all time over there. It was number one for 147 weeks” “Well I never!” said Wanj. “I’ve spent some time in Japan. Would I have heard of the song?” Dee Dee Di Angelo looked suddenly sheepish. “I…I er, doubt it, I mean…” “It was a song used in an advert over there” interrupted Christoph, barely able to contain his amusement. “It was an advert for Chicken Wanj, the nutritious and delicious food product that's superceded turkey as the Christmas meal of choice.” “Ah yes! I think I know the one!” said Wanj. Clearly this was a food product close to his heart given the name connection. “Well it may have been used in an advert Christoph but it captured the heart of an entire nation! I am adored over there! On the day of my wedding, 4 million people lined the streets of Tokyo to wish me well. I have my own small person tribute act for God’s sake! Diddy Dee Dee! Plus my husband Ming Do Do is the most successful business man in Japan!”
“You’re married to Ming Do Do?” asked Pablo. “I know him very well! Why, I’ve conducted business with him on many occasions! Finance is very big in Japan you know.”
Although still furious with Christoph, Dee Dee managed to raise a smile for the suave Pablo. She was pleased at the prospect of an ally in this group. Not knowing why she had been asked to this place, and then finding Christoph here had left her feeling distinctly uneasy.
“Let me get this straight” interrupted Poppy Di Angelo. “You’re name is Dee Dee Do Do now?!”. Poppy could barely conceal the hysteria.
“Well no. Actually I double barreled it when I married Ming…” said Dee Dee, preparing for the inevitable.
“You are actually telling me your name is Dee Do Do Di Angelo? And better yet, your tribute act is Diddy Dee Dee Do Do Di Angelo?! This is fucking priceless! My God, I thought your hat was funny but this takes the fucking biscuit!”
Dee Dee stared at the floor, unwilling to respond further. This feeling was all too familiar. “Just remember you have Japan” she thought to herself. “You will always have Japan.” Spending her formative years with the Darlo Di Angelos had exposed Dee Dee to years of torment, and usually care of Christoph. Having run away from her own home at the age of 10, Christoph’s grandfather had found Dee Dee taking shelter in the lavish peacock enclosure on the Di Angelo estate. The kindly old man had taken pity on the poor stray and, after some negotiations with her parents, had agreed to adopt her into the family. Christoph had never made any attempt to welcome Dee Dee or make her feel at home, preferring instead to refer to her as ‘the nanny’. Deciding she could take no more, she fled to Japan aged 18 and had never looked back.
"Well, I think we should all have some more champagne" said Gary Di Angelo in an attempt to take the focus away from Dee Dee who had clearly had enough. The group agreed and moved to the sumptuous seating area. Dee Dee ensured she sat well away from Christoph, who in turn had ensured he was sitting as close as possible to Chav Di Angelo. They all made small talk, and speculated as to why they were there. Whilst there were clearly connections between some members of the group there was no obvious reason as to why they should have all been summoned and they were no closer to guessing who had instigated it.
After some time and a lot of champagne, the group became aware of the sound of a whirring motor in the distance. Music was playing loudly on a stereo and as it grew nearer, it became apparent that it was 'Erotica' by Madonna booming out. Bingo the Saluki began to bark. "He's quite the fan of Madonna" said Wanj Di Angelo trying to calm the dog down. Pablo Di Angelo went to investigate who or what was making it's way towards them. He was surprised at what he saw. A bright pink golf buggy with shining alloys was swerving all over the place but heading in the general direction of the property. Whoever was driving it was clearly no great respecter of herbacious borders which were left crushed in its Barbie-esque wake. The buggy screeched to a halt and Pablo was amazed that it didn't flip over, such was the erratic nature of the driver. Pablo was further amazed at the sight of the exquisite long-limbed beauty who emerged from it. The sun shimmered on her gold lamé catsuit and she walked with incredible ease on impossibly high heels, her look completed with a pair of sunglasses with lenses the size of dinner plates. Pablo rushed to assist her with luggage. "Why thank you" she said as Pablo pulled an enormous suitcase out of the buggy. "The pleasure is all mine" he replied. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?". The woman looked immediately disgruntled, as if she should require no introduction. "I am Whirlwind" she announced as she took off her huge sunglasses. Pablo immediately felt foolish. The second her glasses were raised he knew exactly who she was. Whirlwind was without doubt the most successful supermodel of all time. As the face of Chav's Place nail bars, she had more global exposure than Ronald McDonald and significantly better dress sense. Pablo stood open mouthed and looked on admiringly as Whirlwind casually flung a mink coat over her shoulder and slinked towards the front door, her hips swinging side to side. Pablo couldn't help but think a mink coat might be a little unnecessary in this weather but Whirlwind was never one to let a small matter like 80 degree heat get in the way of exquisite style.
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